i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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