I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
