it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
