We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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