Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
