you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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