I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
