As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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