My balls are so social today.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
