I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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