I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my liver is dry heaving
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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