The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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