the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
