What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
