I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
