so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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