I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
