put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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