if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Randomize
