I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
