They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
a search helicopter?!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
