I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
