is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
