did you get engaged???
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
