I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize