that's an acceptable place to lick
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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