WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
