...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The ass gains better be worth it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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