with your own penis?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
