I want to have your abortion
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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