dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have aggressive nipples.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
