she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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