I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm jealous of your bromance
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
should my penis look like a turkey
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
