so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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