and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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