4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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