Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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