We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
as a side note pls kill me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
