remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
