We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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