I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
