Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
