its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
