How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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