i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize