peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
it glows. i had to have it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Randomize
