she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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