Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
