one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize