I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
