That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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