i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
