I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
