too bad you live with your parents still
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
