They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
