I showed him my bush... on skype.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
