DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
