My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
