My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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