It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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