if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
they're like a gay fantastic four
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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