3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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