Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
