He asked me if I "almost moaned"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
How external is "for external use only"?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
