After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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