so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
